Mon 2 May 2011
Supervillains, Crime, and Hell
Posted by Patrick Rennie under From the Desk of the Dictator
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From the Desk of the Dictator:
Welcome back from your weekend everyone.
Well, my hunt for Pinnacle continues into a second week. My harassment of the criminal establishment of Lowplain has been bloody but has not drawn out the city’s premier superhero to face me. I’ve moved on from attacking criminal enterprises behind closed doors to attacking crime conducted out on the street. It’s been a bad week for the muggers, rapists, and thieves of the city.
I’ve also managed to annoy one of Lowplain’s regular supervillains. The Jugular Juggler was conducting a bank robbery that I stumbled upon. Unfortunately, his henchmen weren’t wearing costumes, so I assumed it was just the usual sort of heist and started sticking sharp objects into them. The unexpected arrival of a throwing knife into my upper arm alerted me to the presence of a fellow costume at the party. The Juggler might be nuts, but he’s actually pretty good at close quarters combat. I trying to avoid pissing off the local supervillains too much this week, so I decided I better only maim him. Still, it took a full fifteen minutes to properly subdue him. For a psycho with no proper superpowers, he’s pretty tough.
By then, the cops had arrived. As you can imagine, they weren’t happy to see either of us. Technically, there were shots fired in our direction before proper warning was given, but I can’t bring myself to file a complaint. If the cops thought what I’m doing to the local criminals was reasonable, they wouldn’t have gone into law enforcement.
The switch to public shenanigans is pleasing the city’s civilian population as much as it’s pissing off the cops. The Technefarious propaganda department tells me the bump in local approval derives from the appeal to their baser instincts combined with how bad Lowplain crime problems normally are. I’ll enjoy the freedom this give me for as long as it lasts, but experience tells me their approval will disappear once I do something to anger or scare them.
While I was busy with Lowplain, I’m told another Photius Callaway from a different dimension stopped by our Technefarious looking for recruits. On his Earth, all the world’s religions had fused into a single monotheism. That’s well within the normal range in differences for this sort of thing, but in this case, Heaven had already conducted its Rapture and turned the Earthly plain over to Hell. Unfortunately for the forces of Hell, that Earth was A) technologically advanced, and B) chock full of superpowered mortals. Since supervillains usually outnumber superheroes, humanity really didn’t suffer that much of a drop in combat power from the Rapture. The devils are getting their asses kicked, but the reduction in Earth’s civilian population has made maintaining the world’s infrastructure a trial. That Photius and the other new leaders of Earth decided to see if they could hire additional henchmen from the parallel supervillain organizations on parallel Earths. I’d like to wish Henchmen 41F-4E (Fly), Henchmen 66F-9R (Lucy), and Henchman 96O-7P (Stan) luck, safety, and profit in their new dimension.
Have a good week everyone. Remember, this Earth is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.
Your Leader,
Dr. Photius Callaway
The Killing Man
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